Small But Powerful

Debbie Cato

Isaiah 50:4-6 and James 3:1-18

Peace Presbyterian

August 31, 2014

Small But Powerful

I spent quite a few years ministering to homeless families and children before God called me to be a pastor. During that time I met some wonderful people; beautiful people who weren’t as blessed as I was to have a safety net of healthy people in their lives to help them – including a church family. I was honored to be able to hear their stories and journey with them as they worked hard to get back on their feet and get their lives “together” - whatever that means; so that they could provide the kind of stability and home for their children that I was able to provide for mine.

Each of them had a different story; different stuff that had happened in their lives that resulted in them ending up homeless. Different circumstances led them to homelessness; but something in their histories were the same. There was one part of their stories that were similar. It never failed. I heard it over and over.

Each adult that came to us for help, had grown up in an environment where they were repeatedly told that they were worthless; that they would never amount to anything. Each person had been told – and shown through the actions of their parents or guardians or caregivers, that they didn’t deserve anything good in their life. As a result they had lived up to that prediction. They lived up to the expectations. Because they had been told they were worthless since childhood, they believed it with every fiber of their being. It was part of who they were. They had absolutely no self-esteem. When things started going well; a good job, almost graduating – whatever it was- they would unwittingly sabotage things – because after all; they didn't deserve it. They were worthless. They wouldn't amount to anything. It was heartbreaking.

It’s hard to teach self-esteem. Especially after a lifetime of negative messages. We believe the stuff that we’re told over and over and over. Especially as kids. Those messages stick with us. Even 50 years later.

This is a painful example of the power of speech to inflict personal harm. We all have our own memories. Words we have received. Words that we've given. Words that wound. Words last long after they have been spoken.

The Epistle of James includes the longest passage in the Bible about the role of speech in the life of a Christian. "We all stumble in many ways," says James; only the person who has "tamed the tongue" can claim Christian maturity. It isn’t easy; taming the tongue. Humanity has tamed the world of nature, James observes, "but no one can tame the tongue."

Human speech seems innocent enough. After all, the tongue is such a small part of the body. But its small size belies its powerful influence. James compares it to a bit that controls a horse or a rudder that steers an enormous ship. The tongue can burn like a raging forest fire, he says, incinerating everything that it touches. It corrupts both the subject and object of speech. What we say to one another, James writes, can be "full of deadly poison" that kills. Our words can kill the soul. The tongue is small. But it's powerful.

What we say reveals far more about us than about the recipient of our swords. We may think that our words are insulting the other person but they are really speaking volumes about our own heart. The scary part about toxic talk is that it reveals the character of our own inner identity.

THE TWO WOLVES

A CHEROKEE STORY

A young boy came to his Grandfather, filled with anger at another boy who had done him an injustice.

The old Grandfather said to his grandson, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and hate does not hurt your enemy. Hate is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."

"It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one wolf is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way. But the other wolf, is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper."

"He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, because his anger will change nothing. Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, because both of the wolves try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked,

"Which wolf will win, Grandfather?"

The Grandfather smiled and said, "The one I feed."

If we don't let it go – our disappointments, our anger, our bitterness eats us up alive. We think we hide it but we don't. It comes out through our words to other people. Through our small but powerful tongue.

Toxic talk reveals the bitterness, the hatred, the anger and the fear that fills our own heart. In Matthew 12, Jesus said, "Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. The good person brings good things out of the good stored up in them, and the evil person brings evil things out of the evil stored up in them. But I tell you that people will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned" (Matthew 12:34–37).  Ouch. Does that scare you as much as it scares me? “By your words you will be acquitted and by your words you will be condemned.”

We can say we are sorry we said something but – we really can't take those words back can we? What is said, is said. The sting remains. We can't take back the hurt we have caused the other person. And we can't take back the condition of our own heart that has spilled out and revealed itself.

Our words create reality. Once our speech and descriptions take hold, they have tremendous power for good or evil. They can exclude or embrace; heal or humiliate; lift up or tear down.

How many of us have internalized self-hatred that resulted from repeated criticisms from a parent?

     Who hasn’t experienced the useless attempts to prove your self-worth

        against school yard bullying?

             How often have you been caught off guard by a cruel, harsh, hurtful rant of                         someone who took their anger out on you?

Perhaps the best cure for “taming our tongues” is to let go of our own past hurts; our own old anger and disappointments and bitterness to minimize the possibilities of hurtful words rolling off our tongues. Of course, we will never be perfect. We will still say hurtful things. But if you find yourself angry more often than not, or feeling bitter more often than joyful – perhaps there is something in your past that you need to let go of so that you can be free.

James reminds us that, "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?"

James commends a spiritual discipline that's good for our own selves and even better for our neighbor: "Everyone should be quick to listen and slow to speak" (1:19). Excellent advise. Hard to do – at least for me.

Silence can mean the absence of speech and the end of words, but it's also more than that. Silence is a way of waiting, a way of watching, and a way of listening.¹ Silence is a way of dying to self, which Jesus talked about so often – dying to self. In silence we die to the need to justify ourselves, to prove ourselves, to condemn others, or even just to be heard.

This morning we read in the prophet Isaiah (50:4): "The Sovereign Lord has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary." Our words can do so much good. How wonderful it is when you are really down; exhausted; at the end of your rope – to hear kind, loving words.

As much as words can hurt – words can also be life changing.  How many can still remember a compliment made by an elementary school teacher even though it was made many decades ago?  Perhaps you are even who you are today, doing what you do today, because a teacher or some other adult in your life took an interest in you; saw something in you; was kind to you; encouraged you. For me – it was my Grandma Potter.

And as you might expect, Proverbs are full of wisdom about words:

Proverbs 12:18: "The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Proverbs 16:24: "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Gracious words are a honeycomb. Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

What does God want? God wants holy living and in today’s passage, James lifts up a number of markers of the evidence of God- given wisdom in the life of individuals. These include:

     Gentleness and humbleness;

          Pure and peaceable living;

               A willingness to yield to others; not always having to be right;

                     Full mercy to one another and good fruits;

                          No trace of partiality or hypocrisy.

These traits often come out in how we speak to one another. These are difficult traits to live into. They speak of a life that is not ego- driven; not grasping or envious. These are traits that come from wisdom from above; traits that come from focusing on God and not focusing on ourselves or other people. This kind of holy living is a way of life.

Our primary calling – our primary purpose for being, is to be the children of God and the children of God are actually supposed to be living holy lives. We have to ask ourselves if God would want His children using words to hurt or to conquer or even to protect ourselves or get ahead. As beloved children of God, relating to one another as people created in the image of God, we are called to be humble and gentle, pure and peaceable, yielding, full of mercy and good fruits, willing to hold our tongues rather than use our words to hurt. These are the marks of those that are wise and mature

in faith. Easy to talk about. Hard to do. That's why they call this a faith journey. But it's not an excuse not to work on taming our tongues – a small but powerful part of our anatomy. Perhaps the most hurtful part of our body. Certainly a key component to holy living.

Let us all pray that we might act as ones who are wise and mature of faith.

May His Kingdom come on earth, as it is in heaven. Amen.

1 John Chryssavgis in his book "In the Heart of the Desert."