We Can't Go Alone

Rev. Debbie Cato
Ruth 1 and Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Fairfield Community Church
December 8, 2024

Holy God, the words of this world whip around us like a mighty wind.  We are caught up in news reports, in text messages, in emails and notifications.  We are drowning in updates from the media, caught off guard by the constant hum of it all.  But here on this bright morning we remember:  you too are speaking.  Still the voices around us.  calm our minds and center our hearts so that we can hear your words above the wind. We are leaning closer.  We are at the edge of our chairs.  We are beginning again.  Speak to us, as only you can.  Amen.[1]

 

 

We Can’t Go Alone

 

 

Last week we talked about how precious you are to God.  You are a blessing.  We read about God speaking to the prophet Isaiah saying, “I have called you by name.  You are mine.  You are precious in my sight, and honored, and I love you.”  We talked about how endings are always before new beginnings and how God has a new beginning planned before the ending happens.

 

Today we are going to talk about how we need one another.  How much we need community.  We can’t go alone. 

 

Recent studies show that 1 in 2 Americans struggles with social disconnection – or loneliness.  One in two. In 2023, Dr. Vivek Murthy, the Surgeon General of the United States, declared loneliness an “epidemic” because it is so prevalent.  Loneliness doesn’t just hurt the individuals who feel isolated and alone, but it negatively impacts society as a whole.  The feelings of isolation impact both our mental and physical health.  Research has shown that loneliness can take the same toll on our bodies as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day![2]  Think about that.  Loneliness can take the same toll on our bodies as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.  That’s incredible.

 

Today, loneliness is particularly prevalent in teenagers and young people.  Social media has changed their social lives.  They (or adults too) might have hundreds and hundreds of FaceBook friends yet without “real” friends and they are lonely.  There’s a barrier protecting us when we are on FaceBook.  Our vulnerabilities don’t show themselves.  We don’t post about our hardships.  We forget that others have problems too. We are all on FaceBook pretending that life is grand.   Our teenagers and young people are at the most risk.  Depression and suicides are at a high.

 

Just think, one in two Americans are lonely.  Look around.  If we mimic the U.S. as a whole, then half of you sitting here in this sanctuary are lonely. At a minimum, we could assume that every single one of us is impacted by loneliness in some way or other. It’s not only people that are alone who feel lonely.  You can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely; isolated. 

 

When my husband left, I felt all alone; isolated.  Surprisingly, not because he had left.  Not because I was physically alone.  My 2-year-old and newborn were always with me.  They always needed me.  They were dependent on me. But, I felt alone and isolated because I felt the weight of responsibility to protect and take care of my girls all on my own.  It was all my responsibility.  I was blessed.  I had a whole church that wrapped themselves around us and loved and supported us.  Yet, even though I had help, and many people befriended us, it felt very lonely and isolating.  It was like a big weight in my gut.  I will never forget how that felt. 

 

We were not meant to be alone.  God created us to be in community; to be together, to have someone who gets us, who cares about us in our life. To have someone who not only asks how we are doing but means it.  Someone who really wants to know.  Someone to listen.  Even God is lives in community.  Three manifestations of Himself that we call the  Holy Trinity – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. So of course He would also create us – his beloved, his precious ones to also exist in community.  After all, we are created in His image. So, I say to all us independent types, we need one another! We can’t go alone.

 

Covid was a huge isolator.  I think of the residents at PCAL, or any assisted living facility.  They were unable to have any visitors.  They could not even leave their rooms.  They could not eat their meals in the dining room with others.  They were confined to their rooms.  Not for a few days.  Not for a few weeks, but for months and months.   During that time, many residents’ health began to fail; they lost the ability to exercise – just walk down the halls.  Their physical abilities decreased because they couldn’t even walk the halls. They were very lonely.  Truly isolated.  I’ve talked about this with them many times.  It left them grieving for a long time. I think some still are. 

 

We were all isolated during Covid but not all of us were all alone.  Most of us were not as isolated as the residents in assisted living facilities.  I was able to work from home.  I missed the in-person comradery of my peers, even though we had many zoom meetings.  Technically, we could still “see” each other and talk.  But there was a barrier between us.  It was not the same. 

 

I had only moved to Spokane about 6 months before Covid hit.  I was 
diagnosed with breast cancer 3 ½ months after I moved.  I was just

recovering from my treatments when Covid hit.  I had not had a chance to make any friends yet.  I was lonely. 

 

But I was fortunate.  I was living in the mother-in-law apartment attached to Jessica’s house, where I’ll be moving back to this spring.  We were all in the same “bubble” so they could come over to see me and I could go over and have dinner with them.  I could see my daughter and her husband.  I could visit and play with my grandchildren.  We were very fortunate – we had each other.  Yet it was still a very isolating time.  I became even more lonely.  I felt like I was on the outside looking in.  It snowballed into feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and insignificance.  Perhaps some of you had similar experiences.

 

I think one of the things Covid taught us is how important relationships are.  Real relationships. It taught us how much we need others in our lives.  How much we need human contact.  We need each other’s physical presence in our lives. We can’t go it alone.

 

In this story of Ruth and Naomi, we see Ruth, a Moabite woman, could have returned to her birth family after her husband’s death.  It would have been the expected place for her to go.  Naomi, overcome with loss and steeped in grief, initially pushes Ruth away.  She even renames herself from Naomi to “Mara” which means bitter.  Her new name reflected her belief that her life had been marked by divine disfavor.  But instead of leaving, Ruth chooses a radical commitment to her mother-in-law, saying, “Do not press me to leave you, to turn back from following you.  Where you go, I will go.” [3]

 

Ruth’s choice was not just about devotion to her mother-in-law.  It was the formation of a new family built not on blood but on kinship, on the daring belief that our lives are better intertwined.[4] 

 

In my case, my church family became my family.  There were two older

couples (the age I am now!) who became grandparents to my girls. They took them places including to their homes, giving me much needed breaks.  The girls were well loved by so many people during that time.  They went to museums and plays and did all sorts of things.  I learned that sometimes family is what you make it.  And my church family made it full.

 

This is the second Sunday of Advent.  Everywhere you go you see decorated trees, lights, music.  Yet, the holidays can be a terribly lonely time for people.  Christmas is not all twinkling lights, excitement, parties, and Santa.  The holidays can be a stark reminder that we are alone.  We no longer have a family.  Someone important to us is no longer here.

 

Kayla Craig in her commentary for today’s passage says this: “What would it look like to foster deep connections in this season – not just gathering marked by exchanging pleasantries but by sharing your messy, holy, complicated life?”[5] We need deep connections.  Who could you befriend this season?   Who could you invite into your celebrations? Who could you check in on?  Give the gift of time? 

 

 

We also read from Ecclesiastes this morning.  Ecclesiastes is considered a "wisdom book" because it primarily focuses on exploring the meaning of life, offering reflections on human experience, and providing guidance on how to live wisely and meaningfully, even in the face of life's uncertainties and limitations. It reminds us, “Two are better than one … for if they fall, one will lift up the other.”  Two are better than one.  If one falls, they will lift up the other.  It speaks to the fundamental human need for connection, no matter the relationship or what season of life we’re in.[6]

 

You can’t go alone, nor were you meant to.  Our relationships reflect the One, who in becoming flesh, chose to be with us.  To share our humanity.  To show us that we need each other.

 

Friends, we are not meant to be alone – in any aspect of that word.  We need one another.  Your friendships, your acts of reaching out, can have impacts that you can’t imagine.  It can change a life. 

 

We are not meant to go alone on this path of life.  We need one another. 

That is how God created us – to be in community.  To genuinely care about one another.  To help one another.

 

What can you do in this season of waiting for the Christ child that will make a difference in someone’s life who is struggling with loneliness and isolation?  That is the question to ask yourselves in the coming weeks.

 

Hear this blessing:  Beloved, you are not alone on this winding journey.  May the companionship of fellow travelers reflect the love of the One who – in becoming flesh – chose to journey alongside us.  May the quilt of life – all our lives intertwined with one another – warm you from the chill of isolation, and may the Spirit move you to compassion as you cultivate community, even in times of uncertainty.[7]  Amen.

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[1] Sanctifiedart.com.  Advent Series 2024.  Second Sunday of Advent.  Prayer by Rev. Sara Speed.
[2] Sanctifiedart.com.  Advent Series 2024.  Second Sunday of Advent.  Commentary by Kayla Craig.
[3] Sanctifiedart.com.  Advent Series 2024.  Second Sunday of Advent.  Commentary by Kayla Craig.
[4] Ibid
[5] Sanctifiedart.com.  Advent Series 2024.  Second Sunday of Advent.  Commentary by Kayla Craig.
[6] Sanctifiedart.com.  Advent Series 2024.  Second Sunday of Advent.  Commentary by Kayla Craig
[7] Sanctifiedart.com.  Advent Series 2024.  Second Sunday of Advent.  Commentary by Kayla Craig