Rev. Debbie Cato
Gen 45:3-11 and Luke 6:27-38
Fairfield Community
Church
February 20, 2022
Let us Pray: Gracious and Loving God, through
your Holy Spirit open our hearts and minds to your transforming word in
scripture that we may experience anew the height and depth and breadth of your
love and be inspired to live as faithful disciples of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Forgiveness
If you
are like me, today’s scripture passage caused you some discomfort. In fact, when I saw what the gospel passages
the lectionary was giving for this week, I cringed. These passages are about forgiveness. They are about looking the other way. They are about treating people with kindness
and grace regardless of how they treat us and that is hard. Forgiveness is hard.
I cannot stand up here as your pastor and preach about forgiveness and not be honest. It is hard to look the other way. It is hard – for me, to keep my mouth shut and not bite back. Not to get the last word in. It is hard to not retaliate. Not pay back. I don’t want you to think that I have forgiveness down pat. It is hard to forgive. I am preaching to myself today!
The very idea of forgiveness is radical and powerful. It runs against our thinking, our inclinations, our desires, and our will.[1] It sows generosity where nothing is expected to grow.[2]
In our Old Testament reading, we are brought into the story of Joseph and his brothers. You remember the story. Joseph’s father gave him this beautiful coat and Joseph does a lot of gloating. His brothers are jealous. They sort of go to an extreme and sell Joseph to travelers who take him to Egypt, and he becomes a slave to Pharoah. Eventually God sees to it that Pharoah takes favor with Joseph and he comes into tremendous power in Pharoah’s kingdom.
Well, in our passage, it’s many years later. Joseph’s brothers have come to Egypt looking for food during the famine that has hit the land. The did not expect to find their little brother. And they certainly did not expect him to forgive them. But Joseph forgives his older brothers for sending him into a lifetime of hardship: “Do not be distressed, or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.” Imagine the guilt his forgiveness relieved them of. Guilt they carried for many, many years.
Then we come to Luke’s Gospel as Jesus continues his “Sermon on
the Plain.” “Love your enemies, do good
to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse
you. If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from
anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt.” And wait! He isn’t finished! “Be merciful, just as your
Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not
condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be
forgiven.”
These readings don’t leave us much wiggle room, do they? His
teachings were countercultural two thousand years ago when He first taught them
to the crowd gathered around him and they are certainly countercultural
today. No matter what we think of it, our
call as followers of Christ is to walk in love. To practice mercy.
To refuse revenge, recrimination, and rage. To give our
offenders second, third, fourth, and even hundredth chances.[3]
Whenever I talk about forgiveness, I always want to stop and
talk about what forgiveness is not. It’s
important.
First, forgiveness is not denial. Forgiveness is not pretending that
an offense doesn't matter, or that a wound doesn't hurt. Forgiveness is not
acting as if things don't have to change. Forgiveness is not allowing
ourselves to be abused and mistreated, or assuming that God has no interest in
justice. Saying we need to forgive is not saying we need to stay in an
abusive relationship whether it’s physical, emotional or mental. Forgiveness is not synonymous with healing or
reconciliation. Healing has its own timetable, and sometimes
reconciliation isn't possible. In fact, sometimes our lives depend on us
severing ties with our offenders, even if we have forgiven them.[4]
Secondly, forgiveness is not a detour
or a shortcut.
Yes, Christianity insists on forgiveness. But it calls us first to mourn,
to lament, to burn with passion, and to hunger and thirst for justice. There
is nothing godly about responding to systemic evil with passive acceptance or
unexamined complicity.[5]
Thirdly, and this is important - forgiveness
is not instantaneous.
Not if we’re honest. Forgiveness is a process — a messy, roller-coaster
process that might leave us feeling healed and liberated one minute, and
bleeding out of every pore the next. In my experience, no one who says
the words, "I forgive you" gets a pass from this messy process, and
no one who struggles extra hard to forgive for reasons of circumstance or
trauma should feel that they're less godly or spiritual than those who
don't. Before Joseph forgives his brothers, he wrestles with a strong
desire to scare and shame them. In fact, he does scare
and shame them. Read the whole story of Joseph to find out! Forgiveness is something Joseph arrived at,
slowly and painfully.[6]
Anne Lamott is an American novelist and non-fiction author. Her most famous book is a short book called “Help,
Thanks, Wow.” Anne says all our prayers fall into one of those three
categories. Either Help! God, Thanks!
God, or Wow! God. She also wrote a book
called “Traveling Mercies.”
It’s very good. I recommend it –
I love her books. Anne compares
withholding forgiveness to drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rats to
die. If we are so consumed with our
pain, our resentment, our injury; if we insist on weaponizing our very well-intentioned
anger over every interaction we have with people who hurt us, then we are
drinking poison. Poison that will kill
us long before it kills the people that hurt us. Our pain does not hurt the person that hurt us. It is hurting us. They don’t know how hurt we are. How upset we are. How angry we are. But it is eating us up inside.
Forgiveness frees us of that pain, of that bitterness, of that
resentment. It removes a burden from
us. It does not say what happened was
O.K. It simply says I am not going to
let it hurt me anymore.
My
husband was very abusive – to me and to my beautiful daughters, when
they were
little girls. We went through a number
of very difficult years after he left
as he continued to cause havoc in our lives until the courts finally cut all
his parental rights due to his behavior.
It was much easier for me to forgive
his abuse of me. After several years I
was able to see how what I went through, made me stronger, helped me know what
was truly important to me, and helped strengthen my faith. I wasn’t glad it happened! Don’t mis-understand me. But I was able to
forgive him for how he treated me. I
could not forgive him for how he treated my daughters. I knew I was supposed to, but I could not. I
held onto my anger and bitterness for a long time. I could actually feel myself
clinching that resentment. Holding on to
it as tightly as I could. It took me
until they became adults to finally let it go.
They were beautiful young women.
I finally let go and forgave him, but it was that difficult for me.
It was a resentment, a bitterness that ate me up inside. I knew it. I was aware of it on a regular basis. But I just could not forgive him for hurting my beautiful children. When I finally did, it felt like I was free of a pain I had carried in my body for a long, long time. I honestly felt lighter, almost like a new person. But it took me many years. It was a huge trauma. It was worse than my own abuse. I felt guilty that I couldn’t forgive him; but I just couldn’t.
Forgiving is hard, let’s be honest. It’s one thing if someone is just rude or is having a bad day. Little things are easy to forgive. But big things, things that traumatize us are hard. To really let go, to really forgive take healing. It takes time. Forgiving is more than just saying the words.
We know
what scripture tells us. As Jesus’
followers, we should not reciprocate, we should not retaliate, and we should
not draw our behavior patterns from those who victimize us.[7] As Jesus followers we are supposed to act
using kingdom principles of love, forgiveness, and generosity.[8]
Our lifestyle should not be determined by our enemies or by our friends. Our lifestyle should be determined by the God we worship who reacts in love and grace toward all. This is what is means to be children of God.[9] It’s the radical grace of God, found in God and not in the merits of its recipients. [10] The inbreaking of God into human history makes all the difference in the way we respond to other people.[11]
Jesus knows full well that we will never love our enemies without an amazing grace that transforms us and makes us different than we are. Like the musician, the academic, or the athlete, who train body, mind, and spirit and become what they need to be to practice their craft, we too can become more than the sum of our parts. Yet the hard truth is that practice may make us better, but it still will not make us perfect. Perfectly able to forgive in all circumstances What changes us and allows us to love is a grace greater than our sin, our best intentions, or even our hard work.[12] To answer hurt with forgiveness is plausible only because Christ is our strength.[13] God’s mercy is the norm.[14]
The work of forgiveness is some of the hardest work we can do in this world. It is also some of the most important work we can do. But, we must stop drinking the poison of incivility and bitterness. We need to see the “better selves” that live within the people who do us harm. May we have the courage and strength to rise above. And may we taste the full measure of the freedom that awaits us when we choose to forgive.[15]
Let us pray: God of
abundant mercy, Teach us your way of
grace; to meet hatred with kindness, to answer curses with blessing, to love
without holding back, to give without thought of return, all in the name of
Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
[1] Feasting on the Word, Year C, Volume 1. Seventh Sunday After Epiphany. Homiletical Perspective. Vaughn Crowe-Tipton. P383.
[2] Feasting on the Word, Year C, Volume 1. Seventh Sunday After Epiphany. Theological Perspective. Susan Hylen
P380.
[3] https://www.journeywithjesus.net/lectionary-essays/current-essay?id=3327. The Work of Forgiveness. February 20 2022. Debi Thomas.
[4]
https://www.journeywithjesus.net/lectionary-essays/current-essay?id=3327. The Work of Forgiveness. February 20 2022. Debi Thomas.
[5] Ibid.
[6]
https://www.journeywithjesus.net/lectionary-essays/current-essay?id=3327. The Work of Forgiveness. February 20 2022. Debi Thomas.
[7] Luke. Interpretation: A Bible Commentary for
Teaching and Preaching. Fred. B.
Craddock. P89.
[8]Luke. Interpretation:
A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching.
Fred. B. Craddock. P90.
[9] Luke. Interpretation:
A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching.
Fred. B. Craddock. P90.
[10]Luke. Interpretation:
A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching.
Fred. B. Craddock. P90.
[11] Feasting on the Word, Year C, Volume 1. Seventh Sunday After Epiphany. Pastoral Perspective.
Charles Bugg. P380.
[12] Feasting on the Word, Year C, Vol
ume 1. Seventh Sunday After Epiphany. Homiletical Perspective. Vaughn Crowe-Tipton. P385.
[13] Feasting on the Word, Year C, Volume 1. Seventh Sunday After Epiphany. Pastoral Perspective. Charles Bugg.
P384.
[14] Luke. Sharon H.
Ringe. P96
.[15]
https://www.journeywithjesus.net/lectionary-essays/current-essay?id=3327. The Work of Forgiveness. February 20 2022. Debi Thomas.
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