Giving Up Expectations

Debbie Cato

Genesis 12:1-4 and John 3:1-17

Peace Presbyterian Church

May 31, 2015

Giving up Expectations

When Jessica was 7 or 8 years old, she planned her wedding. She was going to get married in our church and our minister, Pastor Sheryl would do the ceremony. Her wedding would be in June. She would have 3 bridesmaids who would wear pink dresses. She also chose the music that would play at her wedding – all her favorite songs. Everything was planned and written out for the day when she got married. She was very excited as she told me about her plans. Everything would be the way she expected it to be.

I listened attentively, enjoying every detail of her plans. When she finished, I innocently asked her one question. “Jessica,” I asked. “What if your husband wants a different song than you want?”

She looked at me, just a little shocked that I would suggest such a thing and then without flinching, she said, “Then, I won’t marry him. I’ll get a different husband.”

Those were her expectations. The place. The minister. The month. The colors. The music. And if her husband-to-be didn’t like it? If he did not meet her expectations, she wouldn’t marry him! Even at 7 years old, Jessica had expectations.

You may not have planned your wedding down to the minute detail at the age of 7 like my daughter did, but I would guess that each of us had expectations of what our life would be like. I would also guess that not too can of us would say that our lives turned out exactly like we expected. I for one never expected to be in a violent marriage and I certainly never expected to be a single parent.

I imagine you had expectations when God called me to be your pastor. Expectations of what I would be like; how I would lead the church. I imagine you had expectations of what our ministry together would look like; expectations of how and what I might learn about the health of this church; the direction we would head. I suspect some of those expectations have been met, but many have not. I know that some of you are disappointed; you are unhappy with me as your pastor. You don’t agree with the direction your session and I sense God is leading us. You expect things to remain the same.

Whether we are 7 years old or 70 years old; we all have expectations.

Look at Abram. Abram and his wife Sarai lived in Haran. Abram was 75 years old. Abram was a wealthy man. He had done well for himself. He had many possessions, large herds, and many people who worked for him. They had no children because Sarai was barren but his nephew Lot was part of their family and Abram’s life was full. At 75 years old, Abram probably expected to live out his life with his wife Sarai, at their home in Haran, doing what they had always done.

And then suddenly, one day, the completely unexpected happens to Abram. God speaks to him. God speaks to him and says, “Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."

Not what Abram expected. I doubt it was what Sarai expected. She was 75 years old too! I’m sure there were some conversations between Abram and his wife about their pending move. But, they let go of their own expectations for their lives; expectations for their future. Abram, soon to be renamed Abraham by God, follows God's call to leave his homeland and travel to the place God promises to his descendants, even though he and Sarai didn't know how it would all work out.

Throughout Scripture we see people whose expectations get thrown in their face. I wonder if Moses expected the journey out of Egypt to take 40 years? I wonder if the Israelites expected to see their beloved City destroyed? I wonder if teen-aged Mary expected to become pregnant by the Holy Spirit and give birth to the Christ Child; the Messiah?

And then there’s this man Nicodemus whom we are introduced to in the Gospel of John. Nicodemus; a Pharisee. Think about what you know about the Pharisees. They weren’t big fans of Jesus, were they? And yet, Nicodemus, a member of the Pharisees is intrigued with Jesus. He wants to spend time with him. Nicodemus is a man who wants to know more. He is a man of standing and authority – a member of the ruling council.

Nicodemus has a big stake in the established religious order that Jesus so openly and drastically attacks by his actions and his words. And yet, Nicodemus comes to Jesus because he wants to know more. He risks a lot to come see Jesus. Nicodemus is curious, but cautious. He comes at night so that no one would see him.

Nicodemus comes to Jesus and he says, "Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him." He has expectations of who this Jesus is. He has expectations of what this Jesus will say.

But Jesus doesn’t reply the way Nicodemus expects he will. Jesus doesn’t praise Nicodemus for believing in the signs that Jesus brings; for believing that Jesus is a teacher sent from God. Jesus doesn’t engage Nicodemus in a religious discussion as the Pharisees might hold in the temple. Instead, Jesus response completely bewilders Nicodemus. He doesn’t understand. It’s outside his sphere of knowledge. It doesn’t meet his expectations. Three times Nicodemus says, “How can this be?”

Jesus says, “I’m not what you expect, Nicodemus. I’m about new life. I’m about God doing a new thing. God has acted out of love – reaching out to the unlovely and the unloveable. God’s love is known to you because he has given me; His only Son so that whoever believes might have life. It’s not what you expect.”

Nicodemus expects something from Jesus but instead, Jesus tells him something unexpected; something new. Jesus tells him about grace. Grace isn’t something that the Pharisees and the keepers of the law know about.

No wonder that when Nicodemus talks to Jesus, he has a hard time understanding. He’s used to thinking in terms of religious laws. Grace is  something entirely new. It’s nothing he’s heard of before. It’s outside his range of understanding. It doesn’t meet his expectations. It’s better!

Perhaps God has something very different planned for this church; for our ministry together than what you… or I, might be expecting. Perhaps God has something better planned! Maybe God doesn't intend for everything to stay the same. Maybe God doesn't intend for us to become so inward focused that when the last person dies, the doors are locked. Maybe the Holy Spirit wants to breathe new life into this church. Maybe we need to give up our expectations and allow the Holy Spirit to work through us and in this church. After all, it is Christ’s church. It doesn’t belong to us. No matter what we do, God will do the work that God has planned in the way that God has planned to do it.

Of course the risk is that it won’t meet your expectations; that it won’t meet my expectations. The risk is, it might be different. But just like God’s plans for Abram when he gave up his expectations; just like Mary when she gave up her expectations, and just like Nicodemus when he gave up His expectations and learned about God’s grace and love for the world; we may discover that God’s expectations are far greater and far grander for His Kingdom than ours could ever be.

Sometimes we just can’t know what’s going on or what’s coming next. God doesn't guarantee any specific future. But we can trust that God will be with us through whatever circumstances we face and that God will work through us to bring about His kingdom.