I'm not good at waiting. Probably because I don't like to wait. I used to pray for patience but then I realized that way too often God gave me what I prayed for - opportunities to learn patience and that just hurt too much! I've stopped praying for patience!
Yet here I am, waiting on God. I'm praying and anticipating that God is calling me back to serve His church. I'm in the discernment process. I'm waiting. I want Him to call me NOW. But I know that's not how God works - His time has never been my time. I need to rest in the assurance that God has a plan and His timing and His plan is much better than mine - although a clue would be really nice. I need to trust that the Holy Spirit is in the midst of the process. And I do trust; and I do know these things. My problem is that although God has given me lots of opportunities to learn patience, I've never gotten the lessons right. I've never learned to like waiting.
It's probably no accident that my season of waiting happens to be the Church season of Advent. Advent is the time of preparation for the arrival or coming of the Messiah - the Christ child. So Advent to is a time of waiting. When we are preparing for something, we are waiting. At Advent, we wait for the birth of Jesus Christ, who I proclaim as my Lord and Savior. During Advent our lectionary Scripture lessons help us prepare our hearts for this baby that will be born in a barn to teenage parents and completely turn the world upside down. "The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood." (John 1:14).
So, as hard as it is, I wait. While I wait, I pray and read my devotions, and prepare myself (the best I can) for whatever it is God is preparing for me in the future. I remind myself (sometimes hourly) that God's timing is perfect. I try to be grateful for what He has already given me and appreciate where I am in the moment. And if I'm totally honest, I'll also admit that I remind Him not to keep me waiting too long!
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